When One Parent Considers Their Role a “Job”
This strikes me as a possible interesting question. Has it ever occurred for you? Have you ever found yourself thinking “this may be the hardest job I’ve ever had?” Well, this hadn’t occur to me until I had a heart-felt conversation with my spouse last month.
He was describing his typical time at home, the driving university, the marathon shopping run, the varsity pick up, the speed-cooking and speed-eating dinners plus the dash in the market to dance class and back. The now-time-pressured bedtime routine because the clock passes 8:00pm so you so desperately want those kids during sex with lights to do this again tomorrow. My husband can perform all this with a strict “every minute counts” schedule.
In his mathematical mind he’s got boiled down each activity with an equation of seconds and minutes and goes from A to B to C all while over a countdown within himself. WOW!
I, however am more relaxed. I have a schedule and I value “being present”. I give time for discussion and time for slow-downs because sometimes kids need assistance getting out the doorway, or getting in the doorway. I go less by the point on the clock plus more by the rhythm of waking time. I still get things carried out in good time.
A Difference in Views
This realization stopped me mid-conversation. I was really surprised and intrigued to remember this differentiation between us. So he feels that it must be his “Job” to manage the children. He feels exactly the same pressure to complete house hold chores and obtain kids to places promptly as he would meeting output deadlines and having a boss evaluate his progress! He bustles savings around your house with a similar energy and speed and determination as someone that has a grand purpose.
But I don’t…
What “Parenting” Means To Me
In my parenting is “a means of life”. I chose as a parent. I was lucky, blessed. I did it looking to make sacrifices. I am a caring person of course, and I feel you have to help others first. Parenting is fun personally and gives me a a feeling of pride and joy, and wonder about the near future.
Where as my relaxed nature radiates positivity and passion, it is possible to see how others might become overwhelmed.
The Role of Gender in Parenting
So I was so intrigued to understand that my partner and I had such contrasting views of parenting obligations that I triggered to conduct an unofficial research poll over web 2 . 0.
I asked parents who self recognized as mothers and those that self-recognized as fathers to respond “yes” or “no” as to if or not they believed parenting would have been a “job”.
What Other Parents Had to Say: Results From My Social Media Poll
My capture of social media marketing ended up being small, however the poll was transmitted over many platforms and a lot of viewers. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram being the most common. I could not design the state run poll from my Facebook page, so I posted it as a a general interest comment.
Availability, interest and engagement was the largest grounds for small sample size. I was still impressed with the results. I am bursting to discuss the findings!
But first, a few things to note about limitations:
More people that recognized as ” dad” replied to the poll overall when compared to people who recognized as “mom”. (This may have biases some of the effects)
Sample sizes of both groups where vary small, and may not be generalizable to larger populations with increased equal sample sizes.
The poll merely captured individuals who wanted to respond along time to respond more than a time sensitive 48 hour period.
Social Media Results From My Poll: Do Dads See The Role As Their “Job”?
Social media comes from my poll:
Over a 48 hour period 8 people replied to my poll question “do you take into account being a dad your “job”?
The outcome was 63% “yes” for dads!
Only 37% replied “no”.
Social Media Results From My Poll: Do Moms See The Role As Their “Job”?
Social media is a result of my poll:
Over a 48 hour period only 5 people replied to my poll question “do yo consider like a mom your “job”?
The results where only 20% “yes” for moms
The large majority -80% replied “no”
Discussion of The Results
So now I am really curious! Why could it be that men or individuals who identify using the “dad” role are likely to see the role more as being a “job”, and why women, or people that identify as “mom” the majority do not consider parenting a “job”?
It could be because of long-standing old fashion views that traditionally dad is acceptable outside the home, traditionally being industrious and likely the “bread winner”.
Or could it be just a dad thing, that things are all a job?
And similarly so why do most women or moms, NOT consider their role a “job”?
Because traditionally we have been the caretakers and child-raisers?
Or because we have been more likely to reserve time of our real job to tend children as required? So that changes our notion of what a “job” is always to us?
The dynamics seems multi-factorial, and unfortunately for my inquiring mine, although some people might people answered the poll, no-one left any comments in any respect. Comments would have been really useful to help us determine what parents really think in their roles and why?!
How The Results Influenced Us
As for the outcomes and reflection in our own personal discussion, my hubby and I have changed some things for ourselves. I feel that since my partner feels that he or she is “always on”, although he is in the home, he does not recharge precisely the same way I do.
He does best which has a specific time for you to wind-down at the end of waking time, on his terms in their own way. That he might have his time. As a supportive partner, I help create and keep this time for him.
As to me, I am not so regimented. I recharge when I get 5 minutes uninterrupted to possess a few sips of coffee or tea. I recharge in minutes of silence, or even a few minutes of sitting about the couch before I get around redirect my attention in the next strong endeavor. Some people often work best with short frequent breaks and others manage to prefer long, consolidated working hard, along with a long wind-down time afterwords, while using reassurance that they’ll not have to get nearly go back to another round of “work”.
Once again the previous adage does work, a fantastic relationship is centered on compromise! When you consider the focus over disagreements and focus on adjusting the subtleties, you improve the team work.
Hopefully, these social websites poll results doesn’t just help our kids but also help yours!