Jealousy is a complex emotion that involves a real or imagined threat to a personal relationship.  We usually associate the emotion with love, and it can occur if a person feels that a third party, appears to be in a position to take away the love and affection of the person that they love.

Jealousy can have a serious impact on our mental health and leave us feeling a host of negative emotions, which can effect our day to day life and damage the relationship we care about the most.  Jealousy is often confused with envy but they are not the same.  Envy is the desire to have something other people have, like money, fame, success or happiness.  Jealousy is the fear that someone will take a person you love away from you.


People can feel jealous for different reasons, it can start in childhood if they felt insecure or unloved, or that their parents gave more attention to their siblings.  This can result in them carrying feelings of abandonment into their adult relationships.

People with trust issues can struggle if their partner is a person that spends a lot of time with other people, as this can leave them feeling insecure.  Certain personality traits can result in people being more likely to become jealous such as competitiveness between friends, colleagues and siblings, or being prone to perfectionism and comparing your relationship to others, feeling that it does not meet your expectations. Changes to the home environment like a partners success at work or an addition to the family can lead to jealousy within the family unit.

Signs Someone is Jealous

Trust is an important part of any relationship and if that trust is lost it can result in feelings of jealousy, signs can include:

·      Attempting to control a partners behaviour

·      Thinking that they are being unfaithful

·      Checking where they are and what they are doing on their social media

·      Worrying when they mention other people or disliking new people entering their life

·      Not being able to trust them when you’re not with them

·      Resenting them when they don’t spend time with you

The problem with jealousy is it stems from a fear of losing the person you love the most, but the emotions and behaviours it causes can have a negative impact on the relationship.  Jealousy can be difficult for the person struggling with it as well as the person living with it.

Constantly having someone question, where you are and what you are doing can be stressful, and cause resentment when they don’t believe your answers.  It can cause people to act in seemingly obsessive ways, constantly finding fault or criticizing you, and being suspicious and controlling.  This can become intolerable and can even lead to relationships breaking up because of the strain it causes.

Professional Help

If you are struggling with jealousy or envy and it’s having a detrimental effect on you or your relationship you should consider seeking therapy.  Therapies like CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) focuses on identifying negative thinking that can lead to feelings of jealousy.  Written by Jan, Jeana and Wendy at Barnsley Hypnosis and Counselling (UK). For more free Information click above link.